Words mean things. But why is it that people sometimes think that they don't? Ugh. This topic gets me all fired up. We've all heard the expression "white lies" and I think everyone is guilty of "stretching the truth" from time to time. But I'm not such a fan of the white lie. Yes, I think that there are appropriate times to not tell the exact truth, i.e. surprise party planning :), protecting someone from physical harm, etc. But other than that, I think people really should tell the truth. I am really not even thinking about the big stuff here--I'm thinking of the nitty gritty, the small stuff. The stupid little details of life that I wish people were more truthful with. I think it would make the world a better place...just saying. Here are a few examples:
In friendship: We are all human, so we are all unkind or not the most thoughtful at times
or just downright mean and bitchy . Fact. When we are on either end of these pendulums, we have choices. Let's say you were on the end of the friendship where you got your feelings hurt. Regardless of what the situation was...if your feelings were hurt; they were hurt. NO one can argue with YOUR feelings. Doesn't matter who is "right" or who is in the "wrong" here. They're your feelings...so if they were hurt...SAY SOMETHING. It doesn't have to be a big dramatic hour long conversation...it just has to be honest. Simple truth. This is something I have really tried to implement in my friendships...and yes, it can be awkward sometimes. Cause sometimes it doesn't take a lot to hurt my feelings and so I feel silly saying "Hey...remember that time you said (insert "said" thing here")...well...that kind of hurt my feelings." Ugh. No one likes to point that stuff out but it's SO WORTH IT.
Or let's say you are on the other side of the pendulum and you are the one handing out the hurt. You may have reasons for
being a bitch handing out the hurt, but you have to be able to recognize and speak up. Use your words. There have been plenty of times when I have to go back to a friend or yes...even a total stranger...and say "I'm really sorry for speaking to you that way" or "Hey...I realize what I said could have hurt your feelings, did it?....etc." Being honest in recognizing your own faults can open up a communication superhighway for avoiding hurt feelings in the future and just better relationships overall.
In dating: Oh man....don't even get me started on this one. People...if you like someone...TELL THEM. If you love someone...TELL THEM. If you don't want to date someone anymore...TELL THEM. Yeesh. In my opinion, the worst thing in a relationship is lack of communication. In my dating history the absolute worst experience was when the guy stopped communicating...he didn't just stop communicating...he fell off the face of the planet. Why do people think that's a good idea? This is why I like honesty so much. I would rather have them look into my eyes and say, "I thought I liked you but it turns out you are the most annoying person in the world and I don't want to date you anymore." I mean, don't get me wrong...hearing that would suck...but at least I'd know. I'd also be able to do some self-evaluation...i.e. am I really the most annoying person on earth? How can I learn from that experience, etc. If someone just ditches you...you're left questioning everything. Everything.
In life: If everyone were more honest, we'd second guess less. I hate second guessing. And second guessing someone's intentions is the worst! Let's say a someone invites you to dinner and you really just don't feel like it. Instead of making up something...i.e.lying...just say so. Just say, "Man, I just really don't feel like doing dinner with you tonight." Or if someone asks you out on a date and you really aren't interested say, "I'm not interested." Ahh...wouldn't it be great if when you got a response from someone and you knew they were telling the truth?!?
One of my major pet peeves is when people lie about the little, little stuff--it seriously drives me bananas. Cause seriously, if you're lying about something insignificant and feeling fine about it...what else are you lying about?
Ahh..okay...my rant is almost over. I am really telling myself all of these things at the same time I type them. I want to always tell the truth. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it takes longer. Even when it hurts. In my relationships, in my songs, in my relationship with God, in my encounters with total strangers.
Honesty for the win.
*Note: Please in no way read this as me thinking I'm better in some way because I try and practice this. I have not always practiced this...but I'm trying. I have & will often not tell the truth...but I just wanted to share my thoughts on the topic.