self-love

Enough

Something I've been thinking about a lot is this question that keeps popping up in my head. Am I good enough? Am I enough? The lie that I am not enough is an insecurity that I've been fighting almost my whole life and if you're like me, you might ask that question too.

And some days are better than others.

But, I have the answer. Yes, that may sound a bit bold, but it’s true. I do.

I have a no-fail, 100% true way of testing to see if you’re enough. Nervous? Want to see if you qualify as being enough? Good. I thought you would.

I want you to put your hand on your chest. (yes...go ahead & do it now...hand to chest.) Feel that beating? That thumping in your chest? That beating automatically means that you are enough. It's really that simple. Congratulations for taking the test and passing with flying colors. You are a winner.

You are enough. You are living and breathing and showing up. You have a unique gift to share with the world. We need you. We need your vantage point. We need your ideas, your laughter, you specific fingerprint. We need you. And you are enough.

I know you might be thinking...this is all good and fine Kate, but what if I don't FEEL like I'm enough. Yes, you might not feel like enough right now. But, that's just not the truth. If you have blood pumping in your veins and a heart beating in your chest--you are enough.

Maybe I’m typing this because I am in need of this reminder. The insecure voices have been begging for mental real-estate recently and so I’m typing this as much for myself as I am for you. In my industry, there is so much focus on outward appearance. I am constantly reminding myself that I am not supposed to be anyone else but myself...and that I, Katherine Elizabeth, with my heart and blood pumping in my veins, just as I am, am 100% enough.

So when you are tempted to compare yourself to someone more talented, taller, thinner, happier, etc., whatever it is that is telling you that you aren’t enough--shut it down. Hold that hand to your chest and remind yourself that YOU ARE ENOUGH. I wish I could sit down with each of you reading this and stare into your beautiful face and tell you that even if you can’t believe it yourself yet, I know that you are enough. 

"Comparison is the thief of joy"--no matter who said it first...either CS Lewis or Theodore Roosevelt--they were both smart dudes and it's true. Don’t think of yourself and think, "If I were taller, more successful, prettier, thinner, a mom, married...then I would be enough." None of those things will ever make you more “enough” than you are right now at this present moment. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in self-improvement and marriages and all those good things...but we need to approach them realizing that your quota for being “enough” in the world has already been 100% met...just by being you with your beating heart. 

See, there is this notion going around that we can improve our self-worth. IT'S A TRAP, GUYS. Don't fall for it. No thing can improve your self-worth. You are worthy of love just as you are and that makes you ENOUGH. 

I’ve been hearing a lot about suicides recently and it just wrecks me. I don’t know what goes through a person’s mind before they take their own life, but I wonder if that lie about not being enough is somewhere rooted deeply inside. It starts small and can snowball so quickly. I know I’ve said it like a million times already, but you are enough and we need you here. If you are considering taking your own life--please tell someone. Reach out. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Tell your neighbor. Email us. We need you here.

If you are reading this right now, I think there’s a reason. Maybe you need the reminder that you are enough and that everyone is good at something. You may not be on a stage or in the spotlight, but that's not the point. Maybe you’re good at celebrating people? Maybe you’re good at painting? Maybe you’re good at holding babies? Maybe you’re good at cooking or baking? Maybe you’re good at making people feel welcome? Maybe you’re good at teaching? Or playing games. We are all good at something. Even if you feel like you're good at nothing, (that's not true) but you're still ENOUGH. 

If the lies pop into your head. Shut ‘em down. Hand to heart. Let that be our reminder. Deal? Deal. When I’m not feeling like enough, I’m going to put my hand to my heart, remind myself that I am enough and remind myself that we are all in this together.

With all my love,

Kate

PS. I started getting this idea for the blog last weekend while I was at the beach. I took long walks by myself thinking and talking to God...and just had to remind myself. I am enough. I am enough. I took this pic because I want to practice what I write. I am enough. Love, love, love.

 


 

Embrace

We had the opportunity to see a film screening two nights ago called Embrace. After leaving the film, all we want is for EVERY SINGLE FEMALE to see this film. Young and old, it doesn't matter. Click here to see if there's a screening near you.

The film maker (and star of the documentary) Taryn Brumfitt went on a 9 week filmed journey to find out why women hate their bodies so much after she had an unconventional "before" & "after" picture of herself go viral.

She had 3 children, was unhappy with her body and underwent a rigorous training schedule to compete in a bikini body-building contest. After the competition, she realized that all of the effort was not worth it and she ultimately found peace, health & happiness with her body when she just chilled out, lived life and enjoyed food. She started loving her body.

The thing that surprised us about the film is that it's about body image as a whole, not just about weight. She interviews a severe burn victim and a brain tumor survivor as well as many other women around the world. It is so powerful.  

The film was such a good reminder for us and it definitely struck a chord since we faced our own weight shaming issues last year.

We would highly recommend this movie to any female. It will move your heart and change your outlook on loving your own body. 

Thank you Taryn for inspiring us, for leading in such a brave way and for reminding us all that we are enough JUST THE WAY WE ARE.

Join the movement: #ihaveembraced

Much love,

j&k

PS. Just a heads up, there is some nudity in the film given the nature of the topic. Although it is not in a sexual nature, we just wanted to give you a heads up. Here's some info on a parent's guide to the film. 

The Aftermath (#31DaysofBlogging)

Hi friends,

Remember earlier this year when we asked you to rally with us against weight shaming to promote self-love and kindness? We posted a blog called “When Someone Calls You Huge” and it told an honest story about someone calling me (Kate) “huge” on a group text that the person didn’t know I was on. What you might not have noticed is that a few days after we posted the blog, we took it down. (We JUST re-posted it again yesterday after 7 months.) If you did read the blog (which you can now...HERE) you know that we made no mention of who this person was, what we were doing when this happened, etc. The entire point of the blog was kindness, forgiveness, no more weight shaming, and loving our awesome bodies! We encouraged people to not hold onto pant sizes or negative words and to be grateful for our ability to breathe, see, touch, smell, run, etc. 

We now are going to tell you what happened to us after we posted that blog. This is the next part of the story.

We were singing for a male artist at the time and what we didn’t tell you was that the person who called me “huge” was a crew-member who we were on tour with. Two days after posting the blog, we were asked to remove it from our website because it could “reflect poorly on the personal life of our employer.” Confused. Baffled. Bothered. We didn’t get it. How could a blog about my weight affect my employer? But, okay...fine. Because we had great respect for our employer AND because ironically the blog was about kindness, we took it down. 

Ten days after we took the blog down…we were abruptly fired.

No explanation. No warning. We received a 1 minute phone call telling us that all of a sudden “the organization is restructuring and no longer has a need for female singers.”  

Yet, one week later, they hired...you guessed it, a new female singer. 

Our original intent in writing the blog was to appeal to you (the reader) to encourage us all to stop the weight shaming, bullying, negative self-talk and to focus on better loving ourselves. 

But now, our message is getting an addition: To do all of the above AND to not be afraid to tell your story, even if it costs you something.

For us, it cost us our jobs. We had the rest of our year until November blocked off and in a moment--the entire year changed for us. We aren’t trying to badmouth anyone. We aren’t trying to start trouble. We’ve worked with and for some great men in this industry. This is not a post to bash men, it is simply to stand up as women, with women and for women to not let fear silence us from telling our stories, so that all of us together can make a change. 

This has been a difficult year for us. There are more details than we can even share here with you and we haven’t shared any of this publicly until now. It's been hard but we aren't going to let the difficulties define the year. We are always encouraging people to share their experiences honestly and openly, and we felt that if we didn’t share this, we wouldn’t be following our own advice. 

This is the amazing thing…the story is no longer about us or what has been the outcome of just our situation.  This is bigger than us. We have the chance to be a voice for women everywhere who are afraid to stand up and tell their stories in fear that it may cost them something. Our voices are all stronger when they are banded together.

We have something that we’d love for you to do for us: Be kind the next time you don’t want to be. Don’t let fear hold you back from telling your story. Show love. Forgive quickly. Love yourself. Stand up against bullying. Against weight-shaming. Against any kind of discrimination. If you need someone who will listen, leave a comment or email us. We are all in this together. Our voices all deserve to be heard.

You are beautiful and worthy of love,

Jill and Kate