I want you to cancel all your plans.
Okay, not really. But the holidays can be a time where you make a million grand plans in your mind and you arrive with expectations GALORE and sometimes those grand plans get ruined...and you end up bawling your eyes out in the bathroom. (Been there, done that. True story.)
So, I have 2 ideas that I want to share with you for a radically marvelous holiday week — both of these things we are practicing and have helped us both so much.
Drop all your expectations. That’s right. I read this somewhere: “Expectation is the root of all heartache,” and I about lost all my cool because that was 100% me. I was flying through every day with high expectations and I found myself constantly disappointed.
At first, I thought that not having expectations would leave me in this constant womp-womp state, but I decided that I would allow myself to keep one expectation, and one that would not leave me disappointed. The one expectation I keep is that I will enjoy myself. Why is that so easy for me to keep? Because I can control that! Can I control what Aunt Sally says to me? NOPE. Can I control if no one wants to take the perfectly posed family photo? NOPE. Can I control if Uncle Ed cuts me off every single time I talk? NOPE. But what I can control is my attitude and my feelings. I can choose to enter the day by setting the only expectation I can manage: I will enjoy myself today. That’s pretty much most of what I can control, myself and my attitude.
Decide that you are not going to change anyone’s opinions about anything. Decide you will just listen. Really listen. Not argue your points. Not tell everyone why they are wrong. Not why “your side” is better. Just listen. Be present. Remind yourself of your above commitment to enjoy yourself. Part of that is not getting yourself wrapped up in conversations that are going to be tense. You are not Joan of Arc, no need to ride into battle. Allow yourself to just BE. Sometimes we think that by not speaking up or arguing a different viewpoint, it’s signifying that we agree with that person. Not true at all. You can listen and still hold differing opinions without needing to argue them right then and there.
So there you have it, two rules to live by this Thanksgiving, if you so choose. I will do my best to do this, and whatever happens, know that I can enjoy myself. I really believe this method works.
If you need an extra reminder on changing your attitude, we gotchu. Click here.
Oh, and one more thing...the whole point of this holiday, to be honest...BE THANKFUL. Even in all of our struggles, hardships, and disappointments, we have so much to be thankful for, and I never want to miss that.
We are thankful for YOU, for your support, and for navigating this crazy life with each of you reading this. Here’s to a great Thanksgiving!
PS. Here are a few appetizers + a cocktail we are making tomorrow!
What are you whipping up?