self care

Cancel All Your Plans

I want you to cancel all your plans.

Okay, not really. But the holidays can be a time where you make a million grand plans in your mind and you arrive with expectations GALORE and sometimes those grand plans get ruined...and you end up bawling your eyes out in the bathroom. (Been there, done that. True story.)

So, I have 2 ideas that I want to share with you for a radically marvelous holiday week — both of these things we are practicing and have helped us both so much.

  • Drop all your expectations. That’s right. I read this somewhere: “Expectation is the root of all heartache,” and I about lost all my cool because that was 100% me. I was flying through every day with high expectations and I found myself constantly disappointed.

At first, I thought that not having expectations would leave me in this constant womp-womp state, but I decided that I would allow myself to keep one expectation, and one that would not leave me disappointed. The one expectation I keep is that I will enjoy myself. Why is that so easy for me to keep? Because I can control that! Can I control what Aunt Sally says to me? NOPE. Can I control if no one wants to take the perfectly posed family photo? NOPE. Can I control if Uncle Ed cuts me off every single time I talk? NOPE. But what I can control is my attitude and my feelings. I can choose to enter the day by setting the only expectation I can manage: I will enjoy myself today. That’s pretty much most of what I can control, myself and my attitude.

  • Decide that you are not going to change anyone’s opinions about anything. Decide you will just listen. Really listen. Not argue your points. Not tell everyone why they are wrong. Not why “your side” is better. Just listen. Be present. Remind yourself of your above commitment to enjoy yourself. Part of that is not getting yourself wrapped up in conversations that are going to be tense. You are not Joan of Arc, no need to ride into battle. Allow yourself to just BE. Sometimes we think that by not speaking up or arguing a different viewpoint, it’s signifying that we agree with that person. Not true at all. You can listen and still hold differing opinions without needing to argue them right then and there.

So there you have it, two rules to live by this Thanksgiving, if you so choose. I will do my best to do this, and whatever happens, know that I can enjoy myself. I really believe this method works.

If you need an extra reminder on changing your attitude, we gotchu. Click here.

Oh, and one more thing...the whole point of this holiday, to be honest...BE THANKFUL. Even in all of our struggles, hardships, and disappointments, we have so much to be thankful for, and I never want to miss that.

We are thankful for YOU, for your support, and for navigating this crazy life with each of you reading this. Here’s to a great Thanksgiving!

Much love,

Kate

PS. Here are a few appetizers + a cocktail we are making tomorrow!

Cranberry Brie Bites

Bacon & Cheese Stuffed Mushrooms

Maple Old Fashioned


What are you whipping up?

Embrace

We had the opportunity to see a film screening two nights ago called Embrace. After leaving the film, all we want is for EVERY SINGLE FEMALE to see this film. Young and old, it doesn't matter. Click here to see if there's a screening near you.

The film maker (and star of the documentary) Taryn Brumfitt went on a 9 week filmed journey to find out why women hate their bodies so much after she had an unconventional "before" & "after" picture of herself go viral.

She had 3 children, was unhappy with her body and underwent a rigorous training schedule to compete in a bikini body-building contest. After the competition, she realized that all of the effort was not worth it and she ultimately found peace, health & happiness with her body when she just chilled out, lived life and enjoyed food. She started loving her body.

The thing that surprised us about the film is that it's about body image as a whole, not just about weight. She interviews a severe burn victim and a brain tumor survivor as well as many other women around the world. It is so powerful.  

The film was such a good reminder for us and it definitely struck a chord since we faced our own weight shaming issues last year.

We would highly recommend this movie to any female. It will move your heart and change your outlook on loving your own body. 

Thank you Taryn for inspiring us, for leading in such a brave way and for reminding us all that we are enough JUST THE WAY WE ARE.

Join the movement: #ihaveembraced

Much love,

j&k

PS. Just a heads up, there is some nudity in the film given the nature of the topic. Although it is not in a sexual nature, we just wanted to give you a heads up. Here's some info on a parent's guide to the film. 

Put Yourself On The List

Hey friends…

It’s winter where I am. This means gray skies, some snow, cold temps and if I’m being honest it’s sometimes a real fight to stay out of the depressed zone during these months. I am slowly still coming off my post Christmas holidaze...what, you mean it’s not normal to have dessert for breakfast and start drinking festive cocktails at 3pm? Ah yes, back to reality.

I kind of let myself go in the winter.

Like, what’s the real importance of shaving your legs in the winter anyway? Or why do I need to get off the couch and go for a walk outside? It’s cold out there people. I sort of hibernate. But, that never makes me happy. So I am trying to not have January suck this year.

I had this thought the last few days. We blogged about it towards the end of December and the thought is this: TAKE IT BACK. Whatever you’ve let go--take it back.

For me, January in Nashville is gray and I sometimes get into a funk. I have prayed and worked really hard at taking my January back. Not letting the gloom get to me and as an added bonus it’s actually been pretty sunny this January. Woop woop.

Oprah said it best, “Sometimes you need to put yourself on the list.” Do something for you. Take yourself back. Yesterday I got my eyebrows waxed. This might sound silly, but it was something that I wanted to do that would make me feel better about myself. I know it can be a frivolous expense but I was doing something for me. I was putting myself on the list.

Maybe you need to put yourself on the list and take something back? Maybe it’s your joy. Maybe it’s your sense of adventure. Heck, maybe it’s just soaking in a tub and shaving your legs. Whatever it is, I encourage you to take it back. You can’t control everything in life, but you can control yourself and your mindset.

Put on your power pants and say to yourself: I GOT THIS. I AM TAKING IT BACK. Now go and put yourself at the top of the list.

Much love,

Kate