grief

When A Song Spills Out - Day 22 #31DaysOfBlogging

As songwriters, every once in a while, there is this magic thing that happens. The song just spills out. It’s not always the case. Sometimes we labor and labor over lyrics, melody, chord changes…but when the magic happens, and the song pours out, you never forget it. This has happened for us a few times, and the songs that have come out that way are the most honest songs we’ve ever written. My Love was one of those, Same Side was one of those, and this past year, Nashville became another one of those magic moments.

Nashville had been “home” for 10 years, and while there is so much to love about it, we also had had a lot of heartbreak there. There had been personal heartache and professional heartache, and we were feeling completely depleted. We had worked and worked, given and given, tried and tried, and it always felt like we were coming up short. We had friendships that struggled, relationships that failed, career opportunities that stung, and we felt at rock bottom.

The song Nashville spilled out of us one night in April, and we never even made changes to it after that night.

That is so rare for us. Usually we will edit a song, make some lyric changes down the road, but this song came out as it is to this day.

In September, we got to go into the studio and record it with one of our best friends, Luke DeJaynes. It is probably just one of the most important and personal songs we have ever written and recorded.

If you have ever felt like a person or a place has let you down, especially when you have REALLY tried to make it work, if you have ever felt like you are running on empty, if you have ever felt STUCK and like you just needed SOMETHING to change, we hope you can find a bit of reliability in this song. Yes, we wrote it about a town, but it’s honestly a love letter/breakup song about anything in your life that has caused you heartache. You can click the picture below to listen:

It’s been really amazing to see how you guys have connected with this song. That’s why we write. That’s we share the painful stories…because if we can make any of you listening feel less alone and say, “me too,” we know we are on the right track. Songwriting is so special and sacred to us. Thank you for allowing us into your story.

Speaking of songwriting…tomorrow we’re telling you about when we met our all-time favorite songwriter IN AN AIRPORT…

Much love,

J&K

To The Brokenhearted on Mother's Day

I had intended to write a blog about my mother and how much she has taught me over the last few years. But, I wrote her a card (that didn’t arrive on time...#fail) and called her today and told her all of the things I would’ve written about here on the blog.

Instead, I have this nagging feeling that I’m supposed to write about something else. But, in all honesty, it scares me to write about a topic so grand, so sensitive, so fragile, so personal...it feels overwhelming and so for the majority of the day I just kept putting it off...but my courage has caught up with me and I’m going to try. I may not succeed, but at least I’m going to try.

This is the letter I’ve been wanting to write all day:

To the brokenhearted on Mother’s Day,

I’m sorry and I feel you.

I’m writing to the ones that have lost their mothers.

I’m writing to the ones that have lost their babies.

I’m writing to the ones that are currently waiting to become mothers.

And I’m writing especially to the single ladies (thanks Beyoncé) that find themselves in the situation where motherhood isn’t even an option...cause that’s where I’m at.

When I was younger I didn’t seem to mind as much. I actually didn’t even notice really. I wanted to celebrate my mom and that was about it.

But now on days like today I feel a lonely-heaviness I haven’t felt before. See, a majority of my friends are married and have kids. If truth be told, most of my friends are like, “having their last kid.” And through no fault of theirs, their reality makes me feel sooooo far behind in life. And it feels super lonely.

You might be thinking, well, you could have a baby now if you wanted to. True. I’ve got the goods and I know how the birds and the bees work...but, I really would love to find a husband first. If I’ve learned anything from observing, it’s that being a single parent is hard--like, ‘they should get their own holiday’ kind of hard. In my world, having a two parent home is just where my sights are set...and that hasn’t happened for me yet, which means that being a mom hasn’t happened yet. And because I’m sharing this does not mean that I don’t love my life and yes, I’m trusting in the timing of my life...insert all the good quotes here...I’m just saying days like today feel hard and bring something to the surface that I wanted to get out on paper.

I have all but avoided social media today. Picture after picture of happy people my age with their babies or husbands proudly adoring their baby mama’s. And I want to celebrate with them. I do, and I have. But, if I didn’t acknowledge the heaviness I feel today I wouldn’t be telling the whole truth.

Maybe you’re reading this and you feel the same way. Welcome. Maybe you’re reading this and think I sound like a whiner...that’s okay, you’re welcome here too. I just wanted to write something to address that days like today can hurt.

So...

  • If today is hard because you’ve lost your Mom: I’m sorry and I honor you and your mom today in my heart.
  • If you’re a mama who has lost your baby...born or unborn: I’m sorry and I honor you and your baby(ies) today in my heart.
  • If you’re waiting patiently right now to become a mama: I’m sorry and I am celebrating you in hopes that you will soon step into motherhood.
  • And finally, if you’re like me, where motherhood doesn’t even seem like an option on the table: I’m with you and I honor you in the struggle on days like today that are hard.

You are seen.

You are noticed.

You are vital to your community, with or without a spouse or kids.

If I could encourage you to do one thing today...find a mom in your life who’s doing it well and call or text her and tell her that. Tell her she’s doing a great job. Never cease celebrating even in your own pain. It’s kind of a holy experience...and one that I believe is truly healing.

You are loved. There is hope. Don’t doubt that miracles happen and that all could change in a minute.

You’re allowed to be hopeful and hurting at the same time.

Sending much love to you today,

-Kate

 


 

Hate To See Your Heart Break (31 Days-Day #4)

Sometimes it seems that heartache and heartbreak are all around us more than usual. You see people hurting. In deep sorrow. Grieving unthinkable loss. When the people you love are hurting, you hate seeing it. This song by Paramore is the perfect description of this feeling…the latest version with Joy Williams singing on the track with Haley adds a layer of vulnerability and sincerity to the song. Our favorite lyrics are:

For all the air that's in your lungs
For all the joy that is to come
For all the things that you're alive to feel
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

The song is definitely worth a listen and hopefully it can help you heal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZweyIKNwX4

xo

j&k

And here are the lyrics...

"Hate To See Your Heart Break"

There is not a single word in the whole world That could describe the hurt The dullest knife just sawing back and forth And ripping through the softest skin there ever was

How were you to know? Oh, how were you to know?

And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before

Love happens all the time To people who aren't kind And heroes who are blind Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes Who wants an awkward silent mystery?

How were you to know? Well, how were you to know-oh-oh?

And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before

For all the air that's in your lungs For all the joy that is to come For all the things that you're alive to feel Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

Oh, how were you to know? (How were you to know?) Oh, how were you to know?

And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before