Health

"21 Days To Better" Group

You guys!

We are SO EXCITED to be launching the 21 Days To Better Group! If there is one thing we’ve learned in the walkabout, it is that we cannot do this life alone. We NEED community…and we’ve realized maybe you need that too?

We’ve been working on this idea for months, and if you’ve ever asked yourself any of these questions, this group is probably for you:

How can I get into better community?

How can I better control my negative thoughts?

How can I be better at self-care?

How can I be better at managing and eliminating stress + anxiety?

How can I feel better overall?

How can I have more fun and be more inspired?

If you’ve asked yourself any of the above questions, you should definitely join this group. We are navigating some of life’s tough areas like stress and anxiety, friendship and community, how/where to find purpose, and how to live your most fulfilling life. We have spent several years asking these questions and gaining incredible tools to help navigate these areas of life. We have searched and pursued answers to some of these questions and want to share all we have learned with you.

So, what will you get when you join?

  • 3 Live webinars (no worries, if you can’t make the live sessions, we’ll email you a recording)

    • What the heck are webinars anyway? Really they are like Instagram Lives or Facebook Lives but these are going to be ONLY for the 21 Days To BETTER Group members. In these webinars, we are going to be sharing the tools that can actually change your life, the things that we’ve learned and are practicing every day that have made BIG differences in our lives...And they aren’t magic...You can do them too. We will answer your questions, we will get vulnerable, and we will have fun! We will also break out the guitar and sing some songs for you too!

  • 21 Days of text messages from yours truly J&K starting on 2/1

    • Start each and every day with encouragement to focus on creating a better day... from your friends J&K! Better days lead to better lives. We are all in this together!

      *(International members will receive these messages via email instead of text.)

  • Access to a PRIVATE Facebook group with all the other BETTER group members with daily interaction from us

    • This is a place we are SO excited about. Actually, this is probably the thing we are MOST excited about because here’s the deal. You guys DM us and send us emails all the time, and so we know your stories and we know what you’re going through and how incredible you are. BUT we want the 21 Days To Better Facebook group to be a place for you guys to get to know each other as well. There are so many like-minded people in our crew. Remember, we cannot do this alone. You cannot do this alone. We need each other and this is the place to connect. Not only is this the spot to post encouraging notes or questions, but we will also be popping in -- posting, commenting and chatting with you guys too. This is going to be sooo fun!

  • Downloadable PDF Worksheets to guide you through the webinars

    • These worksheets will help you make personal notes that you can refer back to as you start taking tangible steps to apply some of the tools we share in the webinars in your own life.

  • Exclusive access to Jill and Kate and the 21 Days To Better tribe

    • We love connecting with you guys on the podcast, Instagram, etc., but this will be a different level. We want to really KNOW you and have you really KNOW us. Ask us anything, chat with us on the Facebook group, hear things we have never shared through other J&K platforms.

  • Community, connection, inspiration

    • You have no idea how much motivation, inspiration, and FUN comes from connecting with other people in groups like this. Let’s build an awesome community where we support one another and spread more awesome in the world!

  • Some surprise bonuses along the way (cannot WAIT to share these with you!)

So, we’d LOVE for you to join this special group of people. We are all going to be better together and we can’t wait to see the transformation that takes place in all of us over these 21 days!

The group CLOSES on January 31st, so don’t miss out. SIGN UP HERE!

The group starts Feb 1st! Cannot wait to see you there!

Much love,

Jill and Kate



We Need Other People

Have you ever felt like quitting? Have you ever felt like giving up but you’re already “in too deep?”

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That’s how I felt when I was half-way up this hike and I almost burst into tears — for equal parts realizing how much further I had to go and that it also seemed impossible to turn around. AND I WAS TIRED. When you have a goal or vision or dream, there will be lots of days when you feel like giving up. Actually, scratch that — there are lots of days when just being a human without a goal or vision or dream is hard and will make you want give up.

So, what makes us keep going?

What gets us through those stuck moments? This is something we’ve been learning so much about over the last year, and it’s something that we’re making much more of a priority in 2019. It’s two words: Other People. That’s right. Other people. Other humans.

See, I was hiking alone. I had Beyonce in my ears telling me that we run the world (obvi) but there I was…hiking alone. But, I passed two girls who were stopped. And then they passed me when I was stopped just a few steps ahead. After about the third cycle of this happening, we began small talking whenever we passed each other. And there was this other guy. He was older than I was and the same thing happened — when he would stop, I would pass him and then vice versa. I would see him start to get up and that would be a kick in the pants for my butt to get back into gear. We never exchanged names, but we did share things with each other — how hard this freakin’ hike was. We talked about if this was their first time or if they’d done it before. I watched the gentleman breathe when he took breaks…how he would put his hands on his head, and I wondered if I should do that too. We shared how much we wanted to be at the top — done.

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I began to feel not as alone hiking. When I made it to the top, I “woohoo’d” for the people that made it before me and I cheered for the strangers behind me that mirrored my journey up the hill. We were all strangers, but all knew we were heading to the same place. It was a great reminder that we NEED other people. We need community.

We have loved being on this journey with you guys and really sharing at a new level with you guys this year. What it has shown us is that we need each other. So, we are dreaming up a place for us to gather  —  not a physical place, but an online gathering space that will connect you to other like-minded people and allow us to share some of the things we’ve learned over the past year that have dramatically changed our lives for the better. We’ve loved doing meet-ups before shows and podcast meet-ups…so much so that we want to do that in a new way. You might not know it, but if you’re reading this, you are a part of our online tribe and community. We feel honored that you’ve chosen to hit that “follow” button and be a part of the journey.

So if you’ve ever…

Wished you could find more contentment and fulfillment in your life…

Wished you could be part of a life-giving community with like-minded people…

Wanted to live a life filled with more adventure and excitement…

Wished you could wake up every day feeling more peace within yourself…

Wished you had less stress in your life and a better way to deal with the stress/anxiety that creeps in…

…Then this is something you don’t want to miss.

We will be sharing more in the next few days about how you can join the group, but for now, what we want you to know is this: You cannot do this life alone — you need other people. You are loved. You are on this earth for a reason, and we want to help make sure that you love every single day. Leave a comment and let us know if this sounds good to you :)

Much love,

J&K

3 Steps For Making 2019 Your Fav Year Yet

So, you read yesterday’s blog and you wrote your thing down, right? You’ve written down at least ONE thing that you want to accomplish in 2019. If you are still feeling lackluster-y, here are our 3 best tips/tricks/pieces of advice for keeping your sanity.

Step 1:

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else’s journey. Do not go poking around and seeing what other people’s goals are. Your goals/dreams/vision are for YOU, not for your roommate Sally or for your Aunt Susan to judge or evaluate. Take confidence in your OWN journey. As our friend Chip said in this podcast: “Enjoy the drama of your own story.” Be obsessed with you — forget everyone else for the moment. Keep your eyes fixed on what you wrote down.

Step 2:

Don’t compete with anyone else’s accomplishments. Your goal might take you 6 months or a year, and someone else’s might take 2 weeks. No good comes from comparing successes — however, you know what always turns out REALLY well? When you cheer someone else on. If you cheer your friends/peers/strangers on, you will NEVER lack friends. True story. Remember, no comparing and no competing. Be obsessed with your own journey.

Step 3:

Baby steps. Have you seen the movie “What About Bob?” If you haven’t, please watch it immediately. It will make you laugh and then you will also get the “baby steps” reference. But the idea is to set small goals — to help you achieve the greater goal. Whatever you wrote down, you can absolutely accomplish, you just need to be smart about how you go about tackling it.


Need help making those practical steps? We’ve gotcha covered.

Tomorrow. Same time, same place?

J&K

Which Train Are You On?

Welcome to 2019! It’s a new year. Time to evaluate and dream and look to the future. Everyone is all setting goals and setting intentions for the new year -- time to crush it, right? Well, what if you woke up this morning and are not feeling like you got off at motivation-station? What if it feels more like you still have your ticket for the bi-polar express?

Fear not, we have been there.

We know the feeling of having what seems like everyone else on the planet be 100% cheery and on top of the world with this intense and awesome #newyearnewyou energy, and you feel like a freaking alien.

But, here’s the secret. You can start exactly where you are with exactly what you have.

Maybe you have a job you don’t like? Or you have 20lbs you’ve been wanting to lose. Or maybe it’s that you don’t have the friends you hoped you’d have.

For now, we just want to share one super power tip: We want to tell you that you CAN change your life, and our best most practical advice is to WRITE IT DOWN. Even if you think there is no way on God’s green earth that you can make it happen, write it down anyway. Write it on a napkin or a sticky note or on a secret page in your journal...you don’t have to show anyone... just one thing you’d like to see happen in the new year.

It won’t magically fix anything or change anything in an instant, but you will have started the momentum train. And the momentum train is magic.

What you might not realize is that if you’re reading this right now...you are already one foot on the momentum magic train…

Get ready for the ride. Tune in tomorrow where we will share 3 helpful tips for navigating the new year.

You are loved.

J&K

Don't Miss The Thing - Day 24 #31DaysOfBlogging

Do you ever feel like you just miss the moment?

We saw this great post last month from our friend Brad Montague, and on Christmas Eve, it’s SUPER timely.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the build up to the moment, and then to get through with it and rehash the moment, but in all of this, we miss the ACTUAL moment. (Shoutout to any fellow Enneagram 7’s out there!) We have found a super great tool that will really allow you to REMEMBER the actual moment.

It’s called grounding yourself.

The way this works is when you’re right in the middle of something really cool, something you’ve anticipated, a really special event or moment, you stop and ground yourself. The way to do that is this:

Close your eyes.  

Take a deep breath.

Feel how your feet feel, wiggle your toes.

Open your eyes.

Be still.

Look all around and take everything in.

Note something that “shimmers” or stands out to you.

Say something you are thankful for in the moment.

You can do this anywhere. In a car, on top of a mountain, at the dinner table, with a group, or on your own. We put this into practice during our trip to ICELAND and noticed that we really were able to remember each moment that we grounded ourselves.

Life goes by so quickly.

Even now, as we draw close to the end of another year, it’s so easy to just go through life without really noticing the small moments. This grounding exercise is a perfect thing to do to make sure you don’t miss out. Try it with your family over the holiday. Remember to take everything in.

Merry Christmas Eve!

J&K

Crushin' It - Day 19 #31DaysOfBlogging

Let’s talk about crushes for a minute.

First thing’s first: I wish there was another word for “crush” because the word just makes me feel like I’m in junior high, which is obviously NOT helpful to the situation…because having a crush is already weird. Am I right? Who can fix this for us? We need a new word.

Secondly: When you have a crush, it is simultaneously the best and the worst thing ever. It’s the best because you are all up in that infatuated-everything-is-glowing stage. The can’t-eat-can’t-sleep cliché business is a cliché for a reason, because it is TRUE. There is this weird and magical thing that takes over your body. And your brain. How is it possible to think of someone so often? How is it that everything you see reminds you of that person? The inside jokes, the last time you were with them — but really, how is it possible to think of someone that often? #crushes

Now, here’s why it’s also the worst.

It’s the worst for this reason: What if the person you have a crush on does not have a crush on you back? You are all lost in La-La Dream Land, and the other person is like: “Yeah, she cool.” But actually not interested and not aware that you are harboring such “crushing” feelings. This is terrifying. Just absolutely terrifying. And it’s vulnerable. I feel so exposed. I hate being in positions of weakness. I hate the thought of being hurt...of being, sorry, crushed. Especially when I have been many times before. It’s awful. Rejection is THE WORST.

If I’m honest, when I have a crush, I usually try to shut it down in my mind. I keep telling myself the other person is not interested. Why would they ever be interested in me? I keep playing the past failed relationships and rejections in my mind. Anybody with me? I know these are lies, but this is what I’m fighting. The lie that says I’m not good enough and I’m not worth loving or being pursued. But I’m working on exposing those lies and not believing them.

I also think it’s tough because I do really want a relationship. I want an awesome man in my life. I don’t think I’m picky, but I have some really, REALLY, amazing people in my life. The bar has been set high for who I let into my life and who I make time for. So, it’s hard when you find someone that genuinely interests you because it feels so rare. Like finding a gem in a pile of rocks. Or a unicorn.

So, anyway, if you are reading this and also have a crush — here is my best advice for navigating (based on what I am trying to do myself —it’s hard, btw.)

  1. Keep being yourself.

    Don’t shy away from being your true self to try and get the other person to like you more. It’s like my good friend Ally Fallon said in our podcastwhen we are faced with rejection, our tendency is to shy away from who we are. BUT, we need to do the opposite. If you’re rejected, commit to FULLY being yourself. When we are rejected, we try and change — to fit in more — because the lie is that maybe then there will be less rejection. But that’s a lie. So, lean into more of who you really are.

  2. Affirm yourself early and often.

    Remind yourself constantly of who you are. Take your hand to your heart right now. Is there a beating feeling? If yes, then that means that you are absolutely, 100%, undoubtedly worthy of love. If the answer was no, you might be dead so you should probably seek medical attention. But honestly, you are so loved. So LOVED. If you have blood pumping through your veins, you are here for a reason, a purpose, and you are so wildly loved. You are worthy of a loving relationship.

  3. Ask your friends for advice, but ultimately, trust yourself.

    Your intuition is telling you things. Yes, sometimes when we are in that La-La crush mode 😍, our vision can be a little rosy or unrealistic and this is where your inner circle of people you trust and who LOVE YOU come into play. Ask them for advice/wisdom. However, at the end of the day, trust yourself. This is something that is probably the hardest for me. I struggle with intense self-doubt. I want to lean on my friends and the advice of others vs. trusting myself and listening to my own still small voice. This is a practice for me…I’m learning how to trust myself more and more. (Hear our podcast about trusting your gut here.)

  4. Lean into the crush.

    Not actually physically…or umm, yes, do that too (wink wink, nudge-nudge 😉), but allow yourself to really feel it. Thank God & the Universe for sending you this crush. See it as a teacher. Allow yourself to enjoy it and surrender to NOT KNOWING THE OUTCOME. Oh dang, this is THE HARDEST part. You can be all affirmed and kicking self-doubt’s butt and conquering the world, but guess what? You cannot control other people. You cannot control the outcome of a relationship. If you are in the crush stage or if you’ve been married for 100 years — you still cannot control other people. Surrender the outcome. Be intentional. Have a vision of what you want. Know you deserve it, but surrender the outcome.

So there you have it, friends. The wonderful and the weird world of being all googly-eyed over someone.

Here’s to enjoying it and leaning into more and more of who we really are.

You are enough. You don’t need to be someone else.

Much love,

Kate

PS. If you want seriously good dating advice, we consulted an expert on our podcast and she DISHES on the best ways to reply to a text, what should and should not be discussed via text and so much more. She is never wrong. Listen here.

PPS. Tomorrow we talk about how a minor mishap on the highway (in our pajamas) lead to a major revelation….see you here tomorrow.

LAUGH! - Day 18 #31DaysOfBlogging

What’s better than wine, friends, and laughter? It’s like the trifecta of awesome. We got the chance to go to Napa in April with two of our closest friends, Whitney and Jess. We went to dream up some ideas….more on that soon.

(We are working on putting together a retreat for YOU to come to where we dream, laugh, drink wine, and get inspired. Can’t wait to share more of this with you. )

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Another thing we got to do while we were in Napa for this trip was to go see our favorite comedian, Kathleen Madigan. We’ve learned that laughter truly CHANGES things. There’s a reason why it is said that it’s the best medicine. We believe it. We take any chance we get to laugh. We were so stoked that Kathleen happened to have a show in Napa while we were there! Her show was amazing, as always, and if you ever get the chance to see her LIVE, go!

Life can get so serious. All of us humans are under a lot of pressure to perform, provide, do, do, do all the time. Sometimes you need to escape the pressure and just laugh. Life is funny, after all. It’s not all serious.

As you head home for the holidays, or to in-laws, or whatever you may be doing, make sure to add laughter to the mix. Play some funny games, drink some wine, and watch these Kathleen Madigan specials on Netflix. The whole fam will love them!

Bothering Jesus

Bothering Jesus

Madigan Again

Madigan Again

Tomorrow the blog is all about answering your burning questions about if we’ve been dating on the walkabout. Hint hint…we have! And we’ve got stories for you!

Much love,

J&K

These Are A Few Of Our Favorite Things - Day 17 #31DaysOfBlogging

One time we wrote a song called “Things I Like.” You can hear it on our Songs on the 17th album. We love sharing with you guys some of the things we like/love, whether it’s food, books, places, TV shows, or other people.

We did a whole episode about this on our podcast called These Are A Few Of Our Favorite Things.


You can listen to it to hear more about why we love all these things, but here are links to all the things we talked about in this episode. Maybe you need to do some last minute Christmas shopping?? US TOO. Hopefully this will give you some ideas!

CLOTHES AND SHOPPING

Carly Jean Los Angeles

The Shop Forward (they donate a portion of all sales to different charities and make the famous #4ThingsTote bags and our most favorite #hallmark sweatshirts —see below and you have until TODAY (12/17) at 2PM CST to get your Christmas orders in!)

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BOOKS/ MUSIC/APPS

You Are A Badass

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

Sigrid

Troublemaker by Leah Remini

Calm App

Plested

FOOD/DRINK

Kale & Mozzarella Chicken Burgers

SweetLeaf Sweet Drops

TV SHOWS

Happy Valley

Broadchurch

Young And Hungry

SKIN CARE

Anti Bump Solution (if you struggle with cystic acne — this will save your life.)

Weightless Protection SPF (looking for a daily SPF moisturizer that won’t make you break-out? this is it!)

Triple Berry Smoothing Peel

Tomorrow we are going to tell you about our #1 mood booster…true story.

See you tomorrow.

J&K

4 Words That Changed My Life - Day 14 #31DaysOfBlogging

I want to tell you about 4 words that changed my life.

They are not magical words, and you don’t need to jump on one foot and spin around while saying them. LOL. But, I do think the words have some sort of magic sprinkled within them.

Here’s the thing about these words. When I started saying them, they were not true.

They held no meaning. It almost felt like I was lying because I wanted them to be true. I actually desperately wanted them to be true, but when I first started saying them, they were not.

Flash forward about 19 months and I can say that they are ABSOLUTELY true and they’ve literally changed my life.

So you’re probably asking, “WHAT ARE THE WORDS, KATE??”

Have you seen people on Instagram put the caption “I love my life.” I swear I kept seeing it everywhere and each time I saw it I would roll my eyes. See, I was in a season where I was low. It was a year after being fired and my life felt like it was legitimately falling apart before my very eyes. Security felt like a pipe dream. I felt like I was losing everything…even my own voice.

I questioned my talent to sing and my ability to write. Blogging scared me. See, I had written a blog that felt like it had blown up my whole life. So anytime I went to write, the traumatic experience was triggered.

So there I was, minding my own business, silently judging people who posted that they loved their life. And I felt this inner struggle. This pull. I wanted to love my life. I had in the past and I wanted it back. I talk to God all the time. God is my higher power and it’s sort of something I do: talk to God.

I was talking to God about how I wanted to love my life, but I had a laundry list of things He needed to change for me in order for me to say that I loved my life. So, there I was, telling God what was up, and I felt like I heard God say (not out loud, but just in my spirit)…I felt like He was saying: “I want you to start saying that you love your life. Right now. Before anything changes.”

And I was like….whuuuuuuuut? Ummm no. It’s not true. I don’t love my life. Have you not heard my laundry list of requests? The things I need you to change? Once those things are in order….THEN, I can say I love my life. So, get to it God. Thanks yo.

And again, I felt it so strongly in my spirit. “I need you to start saying that you love your life…now….I need you to say it like you believe it. Like it’s true.“

I thought it was sort of ridiculous, but I decided to listen. The next morning, laying in my bed — before I checked my phone or did anything else — I looked at my ceiling fan spinning and said out loud:

“I LOVE MY LIFE. Thanks, God, for another day.”

You guys. These 4 words changed my life:

I LOVE MY LIFE.

I don’t even know how to explain it or quantify it for you…but things started to shift. Things I had wanted to see happen, suddenly started happening. Areas in my life that I felt were deserts all of sudden felt like there was water flowing.

I challenge you today, if you are needing a change…a boost, start your day by saying these four words: I LOVE MY LIFE. Say it in the face of what seems like untruth. Say it over and over again.

I still, to this day, say those words out loud at the beginning of each day. I am going to tell you more about the details of what transpired in a couple weeks…stay tuned to the blog…but I want you to know that sometimes you have to start speaking things out. Declare them. Use your words to shape your life. To transform your life.

Even if it’s not true right now, I get it. It wasn’t true for me either. But, I believe words have power and they can change things. Give it a try. You might just be surprised.
To hear more about this idea of these four words on our podcast, listen to this episode: Can 4 Words Change Your Life?

YOU can change your life. Start with your words.

LOVE YOU LIKE WOAH.

Kate

After The Aftermath - Day 12 #31DaysOfBlogging

A few years ago, we posted a blog around this time called “The Aftermath.” We posted it because earlier that year we had posted a blog that led to us being fired from a male country artist’s tour.

As you can imagine, it was not a fun time in life. We had taken the blog down in May of that year and we decided to re-post it in December during our #31DaysofBlogging. We hadn’t been able to fully talk about why we took the blog down or some of the things that had gone on throughout the year, and so we re-posted the original blog, “When Someone Calls You Huge” and then the next day, we posted “The Aftermath” blog. We really like to be honest on here, and well, it was as honest as we could get. And you guys. The response to those two blogs was crazy. Crazy awesome.

A bunch of people reached out to us and wanted to talk about what had happened. Even the Washington Post reached out to do an interview. This was about 2 years prior to the #metoo movement taking off, so it felt like we were stepping into extremely unknown territory.

People told us not to talk about it. People said it would ruin our career if we told our story.

But we couldn’t not talk about it, because we really believe that stories and truth-telling ARE WHAT CHANGE THE WORLD. We knew that if we had this experience — a really shitty one by the way— that it wasn’t just about us anymore. It felt so unfair, so unjust. But with the help of dear friends who were our sounding board— we really realized that this situation had not happened just for us. It happened to us so that we could help anyone else who may be experiencing the same thing….Because sharing our stories will hopefully make someone else in the same situation feel less alone in their own.

Since then, we’ve been able to speak to groups of women about speaking your truth even when it costs you something. It’s been an incredible thing to see something that felt so dark and hard be used for something good.

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Literally, we have met so many wonderful people because of it. We’ve begun working on a book. We started a podcast about “What to do when life doesn’t go the way you planned it.” The experience was traumatic and awful and we hope to never walk through another season like that. BUT, we’re grateful for it. We’re grateful because it taught us so much. Isn’t it weird to be grateful for the hard stuff?

If you want to hear more about how to be grateful for the hard things…like getting called huge and getting fired, you can click here.

Much love,

Jill and Kate

Tomorrow we are going to tell you about how we ended up in Vegas watching JLO do her thang. And her thang she did do.

Take Care Of Yourself - Day 8 #31DaysOfBlogging

Today we wanted to share with you a little about a place where we each spent a week during our walkabout this year.

The place is called Onsite Workshops and it’s a therapeutic retreat center in Tennessee. We each learned so much, but Kate wrote a blog earlier this year sharing extensively about some of the things she learned. It is below, in case you missed it.

We have been learning the importance of mental health and that it is something we need to pay attention to and be gentle with. Onsite Workshops is a place where we were really able to do this. We even did a podcast interview with the CEO of Onsite, Miles Adcox, if you want to learn even more.

Here is Kate’s blog, below. Take care of yourself today. You are important.


I’m not sure where you were when you got the news that Kate Spade had ended her life.

For me, that news will be forever etched in my mind. I will always remember the patch of grass where I was standing, the feeling of the sun hitting my face as it was setting. The lump in my throat as I tried to swallow when I heard it was suicide. My stomach physically ached.  And not because I was a Kate Spade super-fan, but because I heard the news moments after receiving my phone back on June 7th after being away from all technology for a week. Let me back up.

Onsite.

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On June 1st, I drove myself about an hour outside of Nashville, Tennessee, to a place called Cumberland Furnace, TN to the Onsite Workshops. Onsite is a therapeutic retreat center and they have a week-long program called “The Living Centered Program,” or LCP. I’ve had a ton of friends who have gone through the program, who all had incredible experiences, but I never thought I would actually do it.

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See, I always thought of Onsite as a rehab type of place — like, you only go there for serious problems. But, after talking with my friend Miles who is the CEO at Onsite, and another friend Jess that works there, I had a better understanding that the program was really for anyone who wanted to take the next step. Anyone who wanted to become more emotionally healthy. A safe space to work on yourself and on your stuff. And that looks like all different things for different people. It’s really just a place for you to get emotionally fit.

So, with a little help and encouragement from my friends I said YES and signed up for the June 1st LCP. Honestly, part of me almost let fear win. Like, I almost didn’t say yes. I didn’t like the fact that I would be without a cell phone/computer and all the comforts of the outside world for a week — hello SEPARATION anxiety from my life. It was a real thing.  And another real fear was that the last 8 months I’ve really felt in an emotionally healthy place…or at least A LOT better than other times in my life…so I was a little worried that a week of intense group therapy was going to leave me in a worse place than before. But, I was able to talk that out with some of the Onsite staff, and they helped calm my fears and reassure me that it was a guided process — I wasn’t going to be alone with these fears.

So, June 1st came, and at around 7pm that evening, I handed over my cell phone. Guys, it was weird. I was excited to be free from it for a week, but I also immediately felt SO ALONE. I had none of my people with me. I couldn’t text Jill if I was having a melt-down. I couldn’t send a GIF to my girls if I needed a laugh. I couldn’t call my mom. I couldn’t insta-story and chat with all my insta-people. Solo. Me. Well, me surrounded by 56 strangers. Yikes.

I’m not going to share the details of all that we did, but it was a combination of mornings spent with the big group — learning more about the science behind why we do what we do…sort of like emotional fitness classes, and then the late mornings and afternoons were spent in your small group of about 8 or 9 other individuals, and that’s when the more focused work would happen…in group therapy.

I am not even going to lie — I thought the idea of group therapy was terrible. I mean, I knew that was the thing that LCP did, but I’ve never done group therapy and I was certain I would hate it. But, OMG, it was magic. These 9 people started out as strangers, and I can tell you right now, there’s not one of them I wouldn’t fly across the country for in one hot second right now. These strangers became like family. Six days. What in the world?

I’m not even sure how to fully summarize what changes I feel in myself, but it feels significant. And full disclosure, I definitely had some personal a-ha moments that I want to keep for myself or family/close friends, but I do really want to share some of my takeaways with you in hopes that they might be useful to you. They might be jumbled or random but here’s the bottom line.

I loved it. I feel like I learned tools that will help me navigate the rest of my life. I feel like I experienced real healing in some wounds that I was carrying since childhood. I would highly recommend the program to anyone who has blood running through their veins. I think anyone and everyone could benefit. Literally there were people there from ages 19 to mid-70s. Anyone can do this.

Group Therapy.

So, you’re in a small group, where everyone has signed a confidentiality agreement and you have a therapist who is the guide for your group and you get to know these people. Like, KNOW them. As you share your story and as they share theirs, something begins to shift inside of you. You cannot look someone in the eyes when they’re talking about their pain and not be changed. My therapist group leader told me that 70% of your healing comes from just being in the room — the 30% is when you’re talking about your own stuff, but that might not even be as impactful. And I realized something…that might be the key. I think that’s what we’re all looking for in life. Someone to bear witness to our pain. We don’t need someone to fix it. Or say it’s going to be fine. Or pity us. We just need someone to see it. Someone to bear witness to our pain. Especially if the pain happened a long time ago, to go back, to uncover those painful moments and have a room full of people witness it. There is healing in that.

I am a fixer by nature. I want to rescue and fix and make a plan for change to get out of pain. Yet, that was not my role —in group therapy or in life — my role is to say, I see you in that pain. Maybe that’s it. Just, I see it. I am a witness to your pain…and I’m sorry. You take 57 strangers, and you realize that every single person there is carrying pain of some sort. Wounds. Hurt. Heartache. Some of them are scars that run deep. Some are fresh and still oozing with infection. But pain is pain. I left there and I swear I was seeing people differently. The cashier at Kroger. The guy flipping burgers at Five Guys. Every single human alive has a story and most likely has pain. It makes me want to listen more. I don’t need to fix or rescue. I need to listen and see people. I need to bear witness to their pain. It’s powerful.

It was intense.

They say the week there is equivalent to 8 months of weekly therapy. So, it’s no walk in the park. At times, it was uncomfortable…pushing me out of my comfort zone and into feelings that I haven’t felt in a while. Was it a breeze? No. Was it worth it? Yes. Because here’s the thing: I’m pretty certain that great things come after a bit of friction. Sometimes sitting in the group room, I felt uncomfortable and it felt hard. I think of it now like fire or friction. No one likes fire, but that’s how you get the refined beauty. No one likes the friction on the rock until the diamond appears. And I don’t mean it to be a cheesy analogy, but I mean it. It reminded me that most things in life that are worth it take work, and sometimes that work is uncomfortable in the process.


You aren’t allowed to talk about what you do for work. That is a true story. You arrive and you are given a name tag. Kate R. — that was all of me. You guys, I’ve been a part of the duo Jill and Kate for 15 freaking years. Do you know how awesome it was for people to get to know me? Me. Not “Kate” from Jill and Kate...or Kate the back-up singer for Kelly Clarkson. Me! Just me! This part was so helpful.  Literally, there are people that don’t know the difference between Jill and I, and honestly they don’t care to. When showing up at an event on my own people will ask me: “So, how are you guys?” Ummm…it’s just me here.

I felt seen.

This kind of piggy backs on my last point — but during my week at Onsite, I felt seen. I sort of think you can’t escape that. Seen, known, and loved. I think someone summarized those things that might be our three most basic desires and longings. I wasn’t known for accomplishments or seen because of what I did for work. I was seen as a human being not a human doing.

Also, I realized that so much of my life is work. And I love it — I love all that I get to do, but when people aren’t allowed to talk about work — you talk about who you are. Sometimes around the meal tables there would be awkward lulls in conversation because the natural flow of conversation NORM is to talk about work. Instead, I found myself asking the question “Do you have any hobbies? What do you do for fun?” A lot. It was awesome because you actually get to know people for who they are, not what they do. Yes, yes, yes. I’m trying to do this more. My way of asking people questions is now, “So what keeps you busy when you’re not {at the event or driving for Uber}?”

Another huge takeaway for me was that my job is to look after myself. Not in a “Only lookout for #1” way or a selfish manner at all, but that my role in life is taking care of and nurturing myself. I cannot control anyone else or any other situation, but I can take care of myself. A lot of my nature is to caretake — which my therapist also pointed out the difference between care-taking and caregiving. That care-taking is way more about you than it is the other person. Ummm…say what? Thanks Jim for the mic drop moment. Taking vs. giving. Dang, that was a lightbulb moment for me. But I realized that self-care is something that I need to focus on.

Meditation and the brain.

So here’s the deal. I have always heard meditating is good for you. I sort of thought it was more in the New Age vein, but heck, even the Bible talks about meditating…but I’ve never really done it, because I thought that it was something to do for fun or for spiritual reasons. During one of the morning sessions, they do a whole lecture about meditating and show you scientific scans of brains and meditation. I will not attempt to regurgitate medical information here, but let’s just say I now try to meditate every single morning. It’s like flossing but for your brain. Do it, do it, do it. I downloaded a few free apps that have guided mediations: Calm, Headspace and Simple Habit. So far, I like Calm the best.

I am so incredibly grateful for my time at Onsite. To the people that read this that spent the week with me — you know who you are, and I am so grateful to have you with me on my journey from here on out. To the ones who got me to Onsite — Jess, Miles and all the other friends I texted for advice — thank you! I am a different person because of you.

And to you, reader, who might be feeling scared or stuck or in need of the next step…reach out for help. If it’s a friend or a therapist or counselor or a week at Onsite — don’t underestimate the healing power of sharing your pain with others — that’s what we all need — we need a witness to the pain.

And so, I think that’s why the news of Kate Spade hit me so hard.

She was seen and known by billions of people. Had success. Money. Fame. But did she feel truly seen? Truly known? Truly loved. Did she need someone to bear witness to her pain? I don’t know and I never will. But hearing the news of her death was the punctuation mark to my week at Onsite that made it forever memorable.

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My hope for you, dear reader, is that you feel seen, known and loved.

Much love,

Kate







When Hope Feels Far Away - Day 7 #31DaysOfBlogging

One of the hardest things to face is the feeling of hopelessness, and finding yourself down in the depths of the darkness.

We have been really open with our bouts dealing with depression and anxiety, and just the general feeling of being really low. Our walkabout journey has been incredible — full of life-giving adventures and excitement and beauty and all of these amazing things, but for each of us, this year also held a pretty big emotional breakdown.

We aren’t talking about just a little “Oh I’m feeling down” moment. We both faced the “In-bed-crying-our-eyes-out” for reals funk. The funk where you find it hard to see any hope in or see any future in.

And I think that’s where it gets you. That feeling of hopelessness. The voices of anxiety and fear that tell you it’ll never change. The thought that good things aren’t going to come your way. The lies that fill your head telling you you’re alone…..that change is not possible and that this darkness will stick around for good.

Ughhhh….it’s so heavy. Even typing about it now, it brings us back to the low point we both faced. If you are feeling that way right now, we want to share a few things with you.

It’s okay to feel all you are feeling.

We get it. We’ve been there. And we’ll probably be there again in the future. But, instead of trying to get yourself out of it right away, let yourself feel it. Cry. Lie in bed. Feel it. Cry about it. It’s okay to feel all that you’re feeling.

Know that it won’t last forever.

Things will change. Even though the voices in your head are trying to tell you that they won’t — seasons change and this darkness won’t last forever.

Sometimes it’s just helpful to hear that you aren’t alone and that’s why you need to listen to this episode: Digging Out Of The Breakdown.

You are not alone, and you are loved. It’s okay to ask for help.

We both needed some help this year. Tomorrow we’ll tell you about the week we each spent at Onsite — the therapeutic retreat center in Tennessee.

Xo

J&K

A Reflection from My Time At Onsite

I’m not sure where you were when you got the news that Kate Spade had ended her life.

For me, that news will be forever etched in my mind. I will always remember the patch of grass where I was standing, the feeling of the sun hitting my face as it was setting. The lump in my throat as I tried to swallow when I heard it was suicide. My stomach physically ached.  And not because I was a Kate Spade super-fan, but because I heard the news moments after receiving my phone back on June 7th after being away from all technology for a week. Let me back up.

Onsite.

On June 1st, I drove myself about an hour outside of Nashville, Tennessee, to a place called Cumberland Furnace, TN to the Onsite Workshops. Onsite is a therapeutic retreat center and they have a week-long program called “The Living Centered Program,” or LCP. I’ve had a ton of friends who have gone through the program, who all had incredible experiences, but I never thought I would actually do it.

See, I always thought of Onsite as a rehab type of place — like, you only go there for serious problems. But, after talking with my friend Miles who is the CEO at Onsite, and another friend Jess that works there, I had a better understanding that the program was really for anyone who wanted to take the next step. Anyone who wanted to become more emotionally healthy. A safe space to work on yourself and on your stuff. And that looks like all different things for different people. It’s really just a place for you to get emotionally fit.

So, with a little help and encouragement from my friends I said YES and signed up for the June 1st LCP. Honestly, part of me almost let fear win. Like, I almost didn’t say yes. I didn’t like the fact that I would be without a cell phone/computer and all the comforts of the outside world for a week — hello SEPARATION anxiety from my life. It was a real thing.  And another real fear was that the last 8 months I’ve really felt in an emotionally healthy place…or at least A LOT better than other times in my life…so I was a little worried that a week of intense group therapy was going to leave me in a worse place than before. But, I was able to talk that out with some of the Onsite staff, and they helped calm my fears and reassure me that it was a guided process — I wasn’t going to be alone with these fears.

So, June 1st came, and at around 7pm that evening, I handed over my cell phone. Guys, it was weird. I was excited to be free from it for a week, but I also immediately felt SO ALONE. I had none of my people with me. I couldn’t text Jill if I was having a melt-down. I couldn’t send a GIF to my girls if I needed a laugh. I couldn’t call my mom. I couldn’t insta-story and chat with all my insta-people. Solo. Me. Well, me surrounded by 56 strangers. Yikes.

I’m not going to share the details of all that we did, but it was a combination of mornings spent with the big group — learning more about the science behind why we do what we do…sort of like emotional fitness classes, and then the late mornings and afternoons were spent in your small group of about 8 or 9 other individuals, and that’s when the more focused work would happen…in group therapy.

I am not even going to lie — I thought the idea of group therapy was terrible. I mean, I knew that was the thing that LCP did, but I’ve never done group therapy and I was certain I would hate it. But, OMG, it was magic. These 9 people started out as strangers, and I can tell you right now, there’s not one of them I wouldn’t fly across the country for in one hot second right now. These strangers became like family. Six days. What in the world?

I’m not even sure how to fully summarize what changes I feel in myself, but it feels significant. And full disclosure, I definitely had some personal a-ha moments that I want to keep for myself or family/close friends, but I do really want to share some of my takeaways with you in hopes that they might be useful to you. They might be jumbled or random but here’s the bottom line.

I loved it. I feel like I learned tools that will help me navigate the rest of my life. I feel like I experienced real healing in some wounds that I was carrying since childhood. I would highly recommend the program to anyone who has blood running through their veins. I think anyone and everyone could benefit. Literally there were people there from ages 19 to mid-70s. Anyone can do this.

Group Therapy.

So, you’re in a small group, where everyone has signed a confidentiality agreement and you have a therapist who is the guide for your group and you get to know these people. Like, KNOW them. As you share your story and as they share theirs, something begins to shift inside of you. You cannot look someone in the eyes when they’re talking about their pain and not be changed. My therapist group leader told me that 70% of your healing comes from just being in the room — the 30% is when you’re talking about your own stuff, but that might not even be as impactful. And I realized something…that might be the key. I think that’s what we’re all looking for in life. Someone to bear witness to our pain. We don’t need someone to fix it. Or say it’s going to be fine. Or pity us. We just need someone to see it. Someone to bear witness to our pain. Especially if the pain happened a long time ago, to go back, to uncover those painful moments and have a room full of people witness it. There is healing in that.

I am a fixer by nature. I want to rescue and fix and make a plan for change to get out of pain. Yet, that was not my role —in group therapy or in life — my role is to say, I see you in that pain. Maybe that’s it. Just, I see it. I am a witness to your pain…and I’m sorry. You take 57 strangers, and you realize that every single person there is carrying pain of some sort. Wounds. Hurt. Heartache. Some of them are scars that run deep. Some are fresh and still oozing with infection. But pain is pain. I left there and I swear I was seeing people differently. The cashier at Kroger. The guy flipping burgers at Five Guys. Every single human alive has a story and most likely has pain. It makes me want to listen more. I don’t need to fix or rescue. I need to listen and see people. I need to bear witness to their pain. It’s powerful.

It was intense.

They say the week there is equivalent to 8 months of weekly therapy. So, it’s no walk in the park. At times, it was uncomfortable…pushing me out of my comfort zone and into feelings that I haven’t felt in a while. Was it a breeze? No. Was it worth it? Yes. Because here’s the thing: I’m pretty certain that great things come after a bit of friction. Sometimes sitting in the group room, I felt uncomfortable and it felt hard. I think of it now like fire or friction. No one likes fire, but that’s how you get the refined beauty. No one likes the friction on the rock until the diamond appears. And I don’t mean it to be a cheesy analogy, but I mean it. It reminded me that most things in life that are worth it take work, and sometimes that work is uncomfortable in the process.


You aren’t allowed to talk about what you do for work. That is a true story. You arrive and you are given a name tag. Kate R. — that was all of me. You guys, I’ve been a part of the duo Jill and Kate for 15 freaking years. Do you know how awesome it was for people to get to know me? Me. Not “Kate” from Jill and Kate...or Kate the back-up singer for Kelly Clarkson. Me! Just me! This part was so helpful.  Literally, there are people that don’t know the difference between Jill and I, and honestly they don’t care to. When showing up at an event on my own people will ask me: “So, how are you guys?” Ummm…it’s just me here.

I felt seen.

This kind of piggy backs on my last point — but during my week at Onsite, I felt seen. I sort of think you can’t escape that. Seen, known, and loved. I think someone summarized those things that might be our three most basic desires and longings. I wasn’t known for accomplishments or seen because of what I did for work. I was seen as a human being not a human doing.

Also, I realized that so much of my life is work. And I love it — I love all that I get to do, but when people aren’t allowed to talk about work — you talk about who you are. Sometimes around the meal tables there would be awkward lulls in conversation because the natural flow of conversation NORM is to talk about work. Instead, I found myself asking the question “Do you have any hobbies? What do you do for fun?” A lot. It was awesome because you actually get to know people for who they are, not what they do. Yes, yes, yes. I’m trying to do this more. My way of asking people questions is now, “So what keeps you busy when you’re not {at the event or driving for Uber}?”

Another huge takeaway for me was that my job is to look after myself. Not in a “Only lookout for #1” way or a selfish manner at all, but that my role in life is taking care of and nurturing myself. I cannot control anyone else or any other situation, but I can take care of myself. A lot of my nature is to caretake — which my therapist also pointed out the difference between care-taking and caregiving. That care-taking is way more about you than it is the other person. Ummm…say what? Thanks Jim for the mic drop moment. Taking vs. giving. Dang, that was a lightbulb moment for me. But I realized that self-care is something that I need to focus on.

Meditation and the brain.

So here’s the deal. I have always heard meditating is good for you. I sort of thought it was more in the New Age vein, but heck, even the Bible talks about meditating…but I’ve never really done it, because I thought that it was something to do for fun or for spiritual reasons. During one of the morning sessions, they do a whole lecture about meditating and show you scientific scans of brains and meditation. I will not attempt to regurgitate medical information here, but let’s just say I now try to meditate every single morning. It’s like flossing but for your brain. Do it, do it, do it. I downloaded a few free apps that have guided mediations: Calm, Headspace and Simple Habit. So far, I like Calm the best.

I am so incredibly grateful for my time at Onsite. To the people that read this that spent the week with me — you know who you are, and I am so grateful to have you with me on my journey from here on out. To the ones who got me to Onsite — Jess, Miles and all the other friends I texted for advice — thank you! I am a different person because of you.

And to you, reader, who might be feeling scared or stuck or in need of the next step…reach out for help. If it’s a friend or a therapist or counselor or a week at Onsite — don’t underestimate the healing power of sharing your pain with others — that’s what we all need — we need a witness to the pain.

And so, I think that’s why the news of Kate Spade hit me so hard.

She was seen and known by billions of people. Had success. Money. Fame. But did she feel truly seen? Truly known? Truly loved. Did she need someone to bear witness to her pain? I don’t know and I never will. But hearing the news of her death was the punctuation mark to my week at Onsite that made it forever memorable.

My hope for you, dear reader, is that you feel seen, known and loved.

Much love,

Kate


Man Weeps On A Plane

I am on a plane. I’m on Southwest, so I can’t reference my seat number like classy writers do, but I’m on the left hand side of the plane about 5 rows behind the exist row.

I am sitting next to a man. It’s crowded. I’m in the window seat and he’s the unlucky one who got the middle seat. It’s a 5 hour flight. Boston to Denver. The sun is reflecting the prettiest color of orange out my window. A thick layer of clouds beneath me and ahead on the horizon. But then, this fire orange and red—it’s thick. Above it, it’s a bit lighter, then breaking into yellow and a big expanse of blue.

I’ve been working on some ideas on my computer. Lots of work. Me: typing, typing, typing. Spreadsheets and to-do lists. Drinking my wine (thanks SWA drink coupon) and I notice my neighbor reading something. He’s reading something in a different language, so I can’t spy to see what the title is or the words on a page. But, about 10 minutes ago, I noticed something. He started wiping tears from his eyes. At first, I thought maybe he was sick or he was just tired and rubbing his eyes. But, I think he is legit crying. I think those are tears. He keeps wiping his tears. 

It looks like a book he’s reading—a kindle edition on his phone…but something is moving him to tears. And as I sit here, dying to intrude and ask him a million questions, I’m reminded that words and stories move us. They change us. He is probably in his 40s, of some sort of Asian descent (also the writing is in some sort of Asian) and he has been staring at his phone for the last 2 hours...and now he is weeping. 

He keeps wiping his tears. 

As I sit here, I wonder who wrote the story he’s reading? What part of the story is so moving to him? What part of his own story is resonating so much with him that tears stream from his face? Why is he moved to tears? I’m sure he doesn’t want to cry in the middle seat of SWA flight 6387, but he clearly can’t stop. I want to cry with him and hug him…which don’t worry…I know is inappropriate, but still. What is moving him to tears?

I am reminded that our stories matter. Your story matters. No matter how we share them…'cause we all share them in different ways. Some with your kids over meal time, some in songs and on a guitar, some with a neighbor over happy hour, some with millions on a talk show, some with your BFF in high school. It doesn’t matter how, but we need you and your story. 

If you’re writing and think that your story isn’t going to move someone to tears one day, I’d encourage you to rethink that. Or if you’re an artist and you don’t think your art is going to move people, I want to tell you to reconsider. 

I wonder if the person who wrote whatever he’s reading knew it would move a man on a plane to tears. And that by his tears, a (somewhat intrusive neighbor passenger) stranger would also be moved and reminded that words matter. Our perspectives and creativity and lives matter.

Oh gosh, I hope he’s not reading my screen. That would be awkward. Ah heck, what do I know…maybe he’s just got really bad allergies and is reading an email. Haha.

Already in the time it took to write this, the magical shade of fire orange has faded. I’m glad I stopped to study it while it was there. 

I am trying not to miss as much these days.

-Kate

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Getting It Done

Hello!

Is anyone else tired of procrastinating? This kid. ME! Right here. I've got so many things on my to-do list, and I do get a few crossed off here and there...but really, it's the easy ones that I cross off first. Things I don't really mind doing.

Then there's always those lingering items...for instance, here are some worth mentioning:

  • Tax preparation. Receipts, emails with our business managers, personal taxes. the whole shabang. 
  • Returning items to Kohls and American Eagle and TJMaxx. Why God, why?
  • Returning a gift my sister sent to me from Amazon. (I already had it. Bless her.)
  • Cleaning out my makeup bag. This should be fun, but I need to do a major declutter and throw a lot out and I just don't throw out old makeup well. I want to hang on and think of all the wonderful places we could go together...but it's old and smells funky and I should just throw it out. While I'm at it...I should clean all my makeup brushes. Add it to the freakin' list!
  • Clean makeup brushes.
  • Call the NY Tollway and beg forgiveness for a $5 toll that has a $100 penalty on it because they mailed it to our Nash address and we've been traveling for the last 3 months so we didn't get it. WAHHHHHHHHHH. Please be kind NY Toll person that I talk to. 
  • Write a paragraph for a work thing.
  • Reply to unread emails x 100000000000000 (infinity.)

But, I've decided that these things are eating up my brain space with a constant feeling of always having to cross something off my list. SO I AM DOING IT ALL THIS WEEK. Please keep me accountable. I want to use my free time to write, create, and dream...and right now my brain is on LOCK-FREAKIN'-DOWN. You know when people say: set some goals! And you're like, YEAH RIGHT. I can't even think about goals because I have so many things on my perpetual to-do list! It's eating up our brains. Hahaha. Or at least mine. I am crossing those nagging items off this. DOING IT. 

Anyone with me? It's GSD week. (get s%*t done)

What are you getting done this week?

Kate

PS: One thing we DID NOT procrastinate on this week was recording our podcast, and this one is a doozie! THE DATING DIARIES! Just like it sounds. Listen to all of our Girls Just Pod To Have Fun episodes here!

New Year Wishes

Guys, if you’re reading this, you’ve made it through another year! You have most likely faced peaks and valleys, joy and sorrow, ease and difficulty, love and loss...all since December 31, 2016. Isn’t it amazing what can take place in one year?

As we all look forward to starting a new year together, we want to send you these well wishes.

May you laugh more often and uncontrollably.

May you live in each moment and recognize the magic of the present.

May you find great strength during difficulties, and conquer fear and anxiety with immeasurable peace.

May you sing and dance more.

May you check things off your bucket lists.

May you spend more time with the people you love.

May you never give up on the deep desires of your soul.

May life be kind to you, and may you be kind to others.

May you see beauty in a way you have never seen it before.

May God bless you and your loved ones.
 

Thank you for sticking with us for another year. We can’t wait for 2018, when we will bring you some new music, new podcast episodes, new blogs, and we will all learn about life together.

Your support means everything to us.

Much love,

J&K

PS. One more: May you drive immediately to the ocean whenever possible :)

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Clarity

So if you’ve been reading our blogs or listening to our podcast, you know we’ve been on a walkabout the last few months.  We’ve been traveling quite a bit on our walkabout and I’ve loved it. I love traveling. Selling almost all of my belongings and heading out to chase beauty and joy has been amazing. I can’t say enough good things about how valuable the time has been for me. It has been freeing in a way I can hardly describe.

One thing that has surprised me about the walkabout, is that this time of exploring has made me crystal clear on what I want.  I didn’t even know before that I didn’t know what I wanted before heading out on this adventure (haha that was sort of a tongue twister.) But, this time of wandering about has made very clear what I want. It’s been a great lead up to the new year and making goals and dreaming all the dreams--I know what I want.

Knowing what I want has been hard for me almost my whole life. I’m sort of a chameleon and can be happy in lots of environments. So, I can sort of get caught up in other people’s desires and dreams, and adopt them as my own. I think it’s why I’ve always had a hard time choosing “favorite things”...I like so many things that it’s hard for me to narrow down a favorite, which has also translated to it being hard to know what I actually want. For me. My own.

As I’ve gotten more clear on this, I’ve decided that knowing what you want is so important in life...but I also sort of hate it, because knowing what you want and not having what you want is hard. It’s like as soon as I know what I want: I WANT IT.  It’s the in between time that leaves you hanging in the balance. Knowing what you really, really want and not having it, sort of sucks. Also, when you want something that you don’t have, you are leaving yourself open to disappointment if you don’t get it. Anyone else avoid potential disappointment like the plague? Ummm me!

But, I think it’s worth it. I think it’s worth getting SUPER CLEAR on what you want. It’s your one and only life and I think if we’re not clear on what we want, we can float and drift and potentially wake up when we are 85 years old, realizing we never got what we wanted because we didn’t ever even know.

And I think the disappointment of not getting what you want is actually necessary in life. It shapes us. It’s a tool. It helps you get even clearer on the rest of what you want. Heartbreak, loss, and disappointment are all actually wonderful teachers if you let them teach you. They are also wonderful reasons to drown your cares in a bottle of booze (ha), which is helpful for a bit, but man, don’t run from those teachers. They will help you move forward and get clear on other things that you want, and maybe actually lead you to what you need.

I’ve got to admit, what we did was sort of radical, sort of insane to some people. But, I am so grateful to have done it/be doing it. Sometimes we only realize what we really want when we have freedom and clarity from our normal routine and step into something that we haven’t experienced before.

Part of me hates not having all the answers on how long we are doing this walkabout or what the next few months are going to look like.  I am a very clear-to-the-point-in-love-with-details-planner type person, so not having these sorts of answers is hard for me. But, I am learning to lean into the unknown. My goal for this walkabout was to be present in every moment. And when you don’t have a plan, it does make it easier to lean into the unknown and just stay present. No planning ahead, no regurgitating the past. No stressing about the future. Only now. Only present.

But man, I’m so grateful for the clarity of knowing what I really want. That is such a gift. I’d encourage you to get away--even if it’s just a one-day walkabout of your own to side-step from your normal routine and get clear on what you want. What you reallllllllly want. It’s scary admitting it, it’s hard not having it, but I think it’s worth knowing.

If you haven’t listened to our podcast yet, we talk about the walkabout in great detail, as well as laugh a lot, drink wine a lot, and have several ah-ha moments. Click here to listen.

Alright, I’m off. Hope you’ve had a magical day and know what day it is. We are totally lost in the in between of Christmas and New Year’s shuffle. Seriously, what day is it again? WHO KNOWS. We posted this on Instagram and it could not be more true:

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Sending love and clarity,

Kate


 

Home Remedies

So, it’s the time of year for colds, coughs and flu’s. Woohoo! Just kidding. But seriously, it seems like everyone is fighting the sniffles and we’ve both had little bout of the stuff going around--luckily it hasn't lasted long and we are both in good health now.  

We thought we’d mention some of our cold fighting remedies and the odd things people swear by to help healing faster.

  • Hot Toddy

This is a pre-bedtime drink that consists of tea, honey, whiskey and lemon. If you want to get fancy you can add cinnamon and cloves but when we make ours it’s pretty simple. The whiskey & honey both fight germs and it’s warm so it just makes you feel awesome before you get some zzzzzz’s.

  • Vick’s Vapor Rub

Now you might be thinking the conventional way...but no, here’s the funny part. Apparently when you put it on YOUR FEET, it helps your breathing. Say what? We’ve never tried it but people swear by this. Next time we get a cold, we’re trying it.

  • Vitamin C & D

These guys are like our best friends all year round but especially when cold and flu season starts. Vitamin C is the real rockstar of the vitamin gang, but vitamin D is the hidden gem. It boosts your immunity and helps fight off those colds before they start.

  • Apple Cider Vinegar Shots

It tastes so gross and disgusting, pretty much just horrid BUT, we do these when we feel sickness coming on...and sometimes just when we’re feeling laggy. It's all sorts of good for your Ph levels and is good for us...we don't really know why but we just know. Haha.

  • Steam Shower

So basic, but sometimes when you aren’t feeling well, even a shower seems like too much work. Yet, standing in a steaming hot shower and letting the moisture fill your lungs is almost guaranteed to make you feel better.

What are you go-to remedies and tricks for when you’re feeling sick?

Sharing is caring :)

Love,

J&K


 

There’s Always A Work Around 

A lot of times, things don’t go as planned. Flights get canceled (or delayed...we're delayed at the airport right now!) People change their minds. Your car battery dies. The restaurant you chose for dinner is closed on Mondays. 😐


Big or small, things don’t always go the way we expect them to. BUT...we have a little motto that we like to live by and it has helped us tremendously.


When we were recording our Acoustic Covers album, something in the studio wasn’t working. I think it was the piano. We didn’t have the right cable or something and we weren’t getting any audio out of it.


Our engineer, JD, said something that has changed the way we think about things. He ever so calmly said, “There’s always a work around.”

(Side note: there is nothing better than an easy going producer or engineer. We are very choosy in who to work with in the studio because the vibe really matters. When someone is flustered and stressed, the creative environment is ruined.)

JD is one of these easy going producers. He said those 5 words and they stuck with us. “There’s always a work around.”

He went into his magic cable box and created some special cable using his wizardly ways, and a few minutes later, those 88 keys were making beautiful sounds. No stress, no problem. 

If you stay calm, put your thinking cap on, and most importantly, stay positive...you can almost always find another solution. 

So, remember, when life throws you a curve ball, whip those five words out and find another way. You can do it and so can we!

There’s always a work around. 

Much love,
J&K