Clarity

So if you’ve been reading our blogs or listening to our podcast, you know we’ve been on a walkabout the last few months.  We’ve been traveling quite a bit on our walkabout and I’ve loved it. I love traveling. Selling almost all of my belongings and heading out to chase beauty and joy has been amazing. I can’t say enough good things about how valuable the time has been for me. It has been freeing in a way I can hardly describe.

One thing that has surprised me about the walkabout, is that this time of exploring has made me crystal clear on what I want.  I didn’t even know before that I didn’t know what I wanted before heading out on this adventure (haha that was sort of a tongue twister.) But, this time of wandering about has made very clear what I want. It’s been a great lead up to the new year and making goals and dreaming all the dreams--I know what I want.

Knowing what I want has been hard for me almost my whole life. I’m sort of a chameleon and can be happy in lots of environments. So, I can sort of get caught up in other people’s desires and dreams, and adopt them as my own. I think it’s why I’ve always had a hard time choosing “favorite things”...I like so many things that it’s hard for me to narrow down a favorite, which has also translated to it being hard to know what I actually want. For me. My own.

As I’ve gotten more clear on this, I’ve decided that knowing what you want is so important in life...but I also sort of hate it, because knowing what you want and not having what you want is hard. It’s like as soon as I know what I want: I WANT IT.  It’s the in between time that leaves you hanging in the balance. Knowing what you really, really want and not having it, sort of sucks. Also, when you want something that you don’t have, you are leaving yourself open to disappointment if you don’t get it. Anyone else avoid potential disappointment like the plague? Ummm me!

But, I think it’s worth it. I think it’s worth getting SUPER CLEAR on what you want. It’s your one and only life and I think if we’re not clear on what we want, we can float and drift and potentially wake up when we are 85 years old, realizing we never got what we wanted because we didn’t ever even know.

And I think the disappointment of not getting what you want is actually necessary in life. It shapes us. It’s a tool. It helps you get even clearer on the rest of what you want. Heartbreak, loss, and disappointment are all actually wonderful teachers if you let them teach you. They are also wonderful reasons to drown your cares in a bottle of booze (ha), which is helpful for a bit, but man, don’t run from those teachers. They will help you move forward and get clear on other things that you want, and maybe actually lead you to what you need.

I’ve got to admit, what we did was sort of radical, sort of insane to some people. But, I am so grateful to have done it/be doing it. Sometimes we only realize what we really want when we have freedom and clarity from our normal routine and step into something that we haven’t experienced before.

Part of me hates not having all the answers on how long we are doing this walkabout or what the next few months are going to look like.  I am a very clear-to-the-point-in-love-with-details-planner type person, so not having these sorts of answers is hard for me. But, I am learning to lean into the unknown. My goal for this walkabout was to be present in every moment. And when you don’t have a plan, it does make it easier to lean into the unknown and just stay present. No planning ahead, no regurgitating the past. No stressing about the future. Only now. Only present.

But man, I’m so grateful for the clarity of knowing what I really want. That is such a gift. I’d encourage you to get away--even if it’s just a one-day walkabout of your own to side-step from your normal routine and get clear on what you want. What you reallllllllly want. It’s scary admitting it, it’s hard not having it, but I think it’s worth knowing.

If you haven’t listened to our podcast yet, we talk about the walkabout in great detail, as well as laugh a lot, drink wine a lot, and have several ah-ha moments. Click here to listen.

Alright, I’m off. Hope you’ve had a magical day and know what day it is. We are totally lost in the in between of Christmas and New Year’s shuffle. Seriously, what day is it again? WHO KNOWS. We posted this on Instagram and it could not be more true:

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Sending love and clarity,

Kate