I really wanted to post this blog on Halloween because I couldn’t get over how funny that was to me. Oh well…I didn’t get around to writing it, so I am now.
Recently, friends, I was ghosted. SAY WHAT? Yes, it’s true. I will spare you all of the details (you’re crushed, right? Because you want all of the details don’t you…haha) well, I will spare the deets because I’m a nice person and well, I’d like to stay a nice person :)
But, let’s just say I was talking to a guy for a couple months…we’d gone out a few times (the person didn’t live in the same state as me) and then this person was going on a trip and was going to be without cell service and said "he’d text when he was back in service" AND THEN I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.
Totes true story. It was the weirdest. Like, just never.again. Nothing. Now, I have no plans to talk about him for the rest of the blog. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I want to talk about you and me and this new epidemic called GHOSTING.
Why do we ghost? We ghost because we lack courage, good people. I’m guilty of it too. And don’t think that ghosting is just for dating relationships or those scenarios…it’s not. Here’s a recent example: I missed calling my niece on her birthday and when I remembered two days late, I didn’t want to call. I wanted to ghost because I didn’t want to face the fact that I forgot to call. I was feeling guilt and a bit of shame, but I knew that I didn’t want to be a ghost...so I called and guess what—she didn’t care! She was just happy I called :)
So, what’s the antidote to ghosting? COURAGE. Have courage and don’t be a ghost. We ghost because we don’t want to have the hard conversation or face the uncomfortable truth/circumstances and potentially have to do something hard. But, we can do hard things and doing those hard things will keep you from being a ghost.
I honestly think there are few things worse than being dropped or ghosted. Leaving someone else to try and answer questions in total silence is just cruel and mean and we should all go out of our ways to not leave people in the dust. If you are dating someone and you want to stop, SAY THAT. If you’re in a friendship where you don’t want to hang any longer, find a nice way to COMMUNICATE that. Don’t leave people in the silence.
I laughed the other day watching Pride & Prejudice because ghosting was around even way back then. Jane’s suitor, Mr. Bingley, just drops off the face of the planet. He totally ghosts her. But, he comes to his senses (finally!) and goes to her and says one of the best, best quotes of the whole movie: "First, I must tell you I've been the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass."
YES. He owns it. He doesn’t squander his words or make excuses. He straight-up knows that he’s been an ass by ghosting and he isn’t afraid to admit it.
Let’s all take a good cue from Mr. Bingley and own our mistakes. Let’s own the times we’ve lacked courage. Who have you ghosted that you owe a phone call to? Or an email or text? All it takes is a bit of courage and honesty. No need to make excuses, just say you’re sorry and carry-on.
Mr. Bingley then immediately proposes to her…maybe don’t do that. Hahaaa….
Anyway, have courage, and BOO...don’t be a ghost.
Love you all!