Some Thoughts On Dating #31Days2016

Ah dating. Isn’t it just the best ever? (insert a wee bit of sarcasm here.)

But seriously. I have some thoughts. To both men and women about the dating scene. Here’s what I’d like to say:

Can we please get out of the phase where guys don’t ask girls out on dates anymore? That used to be a thing, you know. None of this “let’s hang out" BS. Men, be intentional. And ladies, if a guy asks you out, please don’t start planning a wedding or get upset if he doesn’t call you back for a second date. 

A date, if I understand correctly, is to test the waters to see if you want to start dating (a verb) and the point of dating is to see if you want to enter into a relationship (noun.)

I was talking to a guy friend of mine who is quite a bit younger than I am and he kept saying things like: “I can’t ask her out on a date, she’ll think I’m really serious. I just ask her to hang-out a few times until I see if I want to date her.” I see his point, but I think, to be fair to all parties involved, we need to have a limit to how many times we “hang out.” I say you get one hang-out time to see if you want to date or not. Other than that, wires can get crossed and mixed signals can get sent. Amirite? From a woman’s perspective, it can be confusing to have a guy want to spend intentional time with you, alone, but not have it be called a date...you are left wondering if he’s looking for a new “pal” or even worse, “buddy.” 

Or you can cross into the “friends who just make-out occasionally” category real fast. And while that’s fun for a hot second, it’s not what’s going to bring fulfillment if one of the parties involved actually wants to be dating or in a relationship.

So, guys. Ask girls out on dates. Doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. It can go something like this: 

“Hey _____. I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me?” (If she says yes, follow to bullet point A. If she says no, follow to bullet point B.)

Awesome. Do you like hiking? There’s a great trail/park I know. How does Thursday sound? OR Awesome. Do you like coffee? I have a favorite little coffee shop that has a great latte. Does Sunday afternoon work for you? 

Ok, cool. Thanks for being honest with me. Hope you enjoy your week.

Easy peazy...as we learned from Monica in FRIENDS, keep it BREEZY people.

The real benefit I see of this is that it keeps communication clear and everyone is on the same page. No drama. No games. No wondering if the other person just wants a new friend or actually is interested in you. Dating is the time in life to explore, to see what you like, who makes you giddy with excitement, etc. 

I realize this might be silly coming from a single girl, but, I’m just being honest and passing along some observations. 

Go ahead now. Date away.